little things

I couldn’t find my glasses this morning and I couldn’t be late, so I had to spend my day semi-blind. I do this a lot in America, too (except it’s usually that I didn’t even remember my glasses at all), so it wasn’t anything new.
However, in America, everyone would just note ‘hey, where are you glasses?’ or ‘you look different…’ It really just reasserted my belief that I look like shit without them. Someone once told me that I look better with my glasses on because there’s too much empty space on my face LOL (I’ve been addicted to my glasses ever since; they had a point)
But today, I got showered with so much リズ美人！ (YOU’RE A BEAUTY) that I want to go out and buy contacts LOL. Seriously, Japan is very flattery, but the intensity of everyone’s YOU’RE SO CUTE/PRETTY/SEXY(lol what?) assaults made it feel very sincere. The 2nd cutest guy my class even randomly walked up and said 今日リズ色っぽい。。。！(today Liz is sexy/hot/attractive/very pretty (it’s a dangerously broad term lol))　LMFAO I would be more uncomfortable but he’s a really funny nice person so I know he’s not being insincere or disgusting. Needless to say I am somewhat over my naked-face-hate.

I spend time shopping around every day after school and I’m so surprised that it’s usually fruitless! I find a lot of things I like but nothing I love. So I end up saying ‘ehh… I could live without it’ to everything x_x;;;. Just felt like mentioning it.

Exactly 2 weeks lefffffttttttt T~T. Suddenly time is moving way too fast. It’s 2 weeks but I feel kind of strained each day, with the thought of going home constantly silently stretching at my insides and making me queasy. I’m excited to see my family and friends and everything, but I’m afraid of ending this time off. I don’t know if I’m ready to return to normal life yet. I feel like I haven’t learned enough yet and I definitely feel that I have not regained the resolve and determination to last another school year. I don’t want to come home and feel as if I was pulled away from something half-way. I need more time to dwell here and really let a renewal soak in so I can survive another year doing shit and pretending it matters.