For the first time since this school year began
Everything feels so right. I’m so perfect, so just perfectly fine with where I am. I’m not stressed out by anything at all. I’m happy not just for short moments, but for entire days. This long duration of unwavering contentedness is bewildering, but refreshing. I wonder if this is how normal people are all the time, lol.
Fuck, I love sunlight. It was like I spent 3 weeks under the sun, and my internal switch just clicks from “FUCK YOU ALL, ME, YOU, EVERYONE SHOULD JUST DIE” to “There is nothing I would change about anything.” There are other factors as well, of course. My winter rut started particularly early this year, and was ridiculously long. It wasn’t the sharp, relatively short, self-deprecating, severe pain of past winters. It was a dull, throbbing, lifeless, enthusiasm-sapping drone of a rut. I think this experience has grown to have a different effect on me. My brand of unhappiness changes every year.
Whenever I become content again, though, I, deep down, fear the day it all ends. It’s a cycle, after all. :/
I need to move. This is seriously debilitating the progress of my life, if I felt how I felt now all year, I would have gotten so much more shit done. But I was too busy feeling like shit and disconnecting with reality.
Haha
Your result for The Personality Defect Test …
Spiteful Loner
You are 57% Rational, 29% Extroverted, 57% Brutal, and 29% Arrogant.
“You are the Spiteful Loner, the personality type that is most likely to go on a shooting rampage. In high school, you were probably that kid who wore all black and who sat alone in a corner of the lunch room, drawing pictures of dead babies. You are a rational person and tend to hold emotions in very low-esteem; not only that, but you are also rather introverted, meaning you probably bury any emotions you feel deep inside yourself, like all of the bodies in your backyard. Combine these traits with your dislike of others and your brutality, and it seems that you would be quite likely to shoot innocent people in a rampage. Most likely, you also have low self-esteem. Hell, I get low self-esteem just looking at you. This is only yet one more incentive to go on a shooting rampage, because you wouldn’t care if you died as a result. Granted, you probably haven’t gone on a shooting rampage and probably never will, but all the motivations are there. All you need is for someone to push you over the edge, calling you names and belittling you. Like me. But don’t shoot me. I have a 101 mile-long knife, you know. In conclusion, your personality is defective because you are too introverted, brutal, insecure, and rather unemotional. No wonder no one hangs around you, you morbid, cold-hearted freak! “
That actually made me laugh.
