wsup. tomorrow is my last day~

-Sorry I made you all think I was going to jump off a mountain cliff here in my last post XD. (Nagano’s mountains are so pretty, it would actually be quite nice lol)

-I’ve actually really come to terms with leaving, and am kinda excited to see everyone!

-I must warn you all that my gifts are super mediocre (like, you might get mad… they’re really crappy souvenirs LOL SORRY T~T). It’s a misconception that there’s tons of cool stuff to get here. The coolest thing is just experiencing things here, living life here. And I can’t bring that back, so you get may or may not get something crappy from me… XD

-Small update about what I’ve been up to since I was gonna drown; I carried omikoshi at a festival, went to a festival, went to onsen for first time, saw the Hana Yori Dango ~final~ movie in theaters (to the envy of everyone not in Japan!! YAY!!! It was really good. I was actually really moved. And Matsumoto Jun is really hot… I want to marry Domyouji so bad T~T. Anyways, the theater was sweet.), finished up some shopping, puri, ufo catcher, etc. I’m not going to be detailed with anything so I can have a lot to talk about when I get back. If you want to know more about any specific thing, I will for sure be able to rant about it lol .

-I’ve been really busy with presentations and essays and letters too. I keep getting told to do stuff, agh!

-What’s really depressing is that everyone’s telling me that I ‘nihongo umaku natta’ (got good at Japanese) and I know I’m not going to have the chance to live speaking Japanese anymore and it will just disintegrate.

-Oh and yes I’m doing my best to enjoy my last days here, stop pressuring me, people! To be honest, though, it’s just like when I left America 6 weeks ago… I couldn’t believe I was leaving America up until the point I left. Right now, I can’t believe I’m leaving Japan on Thursday morning…. (Wednesday night for you guys, I think?) Ask Max please! I’m not sure!! LOL

-OH and FUUUCK I’ve only read 1.5 of 4 books and have wrote 0/3 essays FUCK LOL

-TOMORROW’S MY LAST DAY! I’M GOING TO SCHOOL (BUT IT’S A HALFDAY), AND THEN IDK, I’M GONNA BLOW ALL MY MONEY AND GO KARAOKE OR PURI OR MISTERDONUT WITH MY FRIENDS LOL!! IDK WHY THIS IS IN CAPS BUT I NOW FEEL A LITTLE BIT COOLER. XD

Lots more but I need to write my damn ‘experience in Japan’ essay. No updates until I’m back.

YOU! Thanks x1000 for following my trip all this time… it has meant a lot to me ;~;!

I’m going to miss everything here, but yes… I’ve stopped being bitter about leaving, and started being happy I had this experience at all. That I begged my parents for several months to let me go. That I went through writing essays and applying for this even though there was a risk of wasting my summer and having a horrible time. It was all more than worth it… this was really one of the best decisions I have ever made. Actually, the best decision I have made in my entire life. I’m really glad I’ve lived long enough to do this.

Please god, give me more time.

I went karaoke and ramen today with people in my class that I really love, and the whole bus ride home all I could do was think of ways I could make this last longer. How I could look up my American high school counselor’s phone number and explain my situation to him. I could plead to my school board. I could somehow make it work. I could manage to make up a semester of school. I just need a few more months. I was basically sitting there with a horrible gripping pain in my stomach and chest feeling desperate and sick for an hour. It’s been like that the past few days and it’s not going to stop…

Yes I love my family and friends in America, but I know I will see you again and things won’t change. What I have here will change. Not only that, but it’s gotten to the point that I really feel my Japanese improving and I can translate for people conversationally (people in my class are hosting Americans right now). Because I started off well off Japanese-wise, If I stayed here for a semester, I’d be at a speaking level I would be satisfied with. To leave right now is so wasteful. Simple things like standing around the station talking with my classmates every day is something I will really miss.

Yeah Ethan I said it that way because that’s how I really feel. I haven’t been consecutively happy for this long since I was a kid, and that’s just because I was ignorant. I feel like drowning in the bathtub every night because this really really hurts like fuck lol.
Somehow, somehow, I want to make this last longer…

sorry this is so whiny and you probably think I’m a bitch for not sounding like I care about everyone back home, but you have to understand that I hate everything about my life in America besides my friends and family. If you guys weren’t there I would never, ever, ever even get near an airport. So I do care, in my own subtle unsatisfactory way.

I’ve really started to love Momoka, too… she’s so fun to be around and I just love her, we’re so compatible. There are actually a lot of classmates I’m really attached to. And I’ve just started getting to know this really nice guy in my class, Su-san (Suuyama Kazuya), who I want to get to know more because his English is pretty good and I really want to teach him more (and in turn learn more Japanese). I really love the double-teach thing, but I can mostly only do it with Momo and Su-san because they’re pro. He’s so nice, he even saved me at karaoke because no one wanted to sing Shuuchishin with me (too shy) and we both suck at singing but I was happy he sang despite his own shyness.　ドンマイドンマイドンマイドンマイ、泣かないで~

But yes I do take into account bad things here. And whenever things make me upset here, I try to make it into a reason I should feel good about leaving, but I just can’t do it. I manage to just mold that sadness/anger into my leaving depression. My stomach really hurts.

FUCK

I DON’T WANT TO GO HOME

FUCK

I have a week left but I can’t help spending most of my time feeling like shit because I’m leaving so soon.

Sure I’ve been having a great time from the start, but it’s just recently that this has become 100% normal life to me and as I’ve adapted completely I enjoy it even more… It’s hard to explain but I am just really really not wanting to leave. Another month or two, PLEASE.

FUUUUUUUUUUCK. I want to cry every time I explain to my friends that アメリカで毎日嬉しくなかった (I was unhappy every day in America) which isn’t really exxaggerating…

FUCK THIS MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT lolz. It’s the first time since I can’t even remember that I haven’t worried about shit and been in that horrible state of existence and ugh fuck it’s ending so fast and it’s not long enough to make up for all the unhappy that has happened and will happen. Although just worrying about leaving right now I’m returning to that.

The common reply to this horrible feeling I have right now is that ‘I’ll come back to Japan someday, probably soon‘. Sure, I will. But it will not be the same. It will never be the same. Never will the situation be so perfect. I love my family, I love my school, I love my class, I love my friends, I love my house, I love my town. Not only that, but I am loved here. I am so lucky. Many exchange students never get it this good. And sure I will come back to Japan, but this is something really special. 一期一絵 (ichigo ichie. look it up lol)

BTW you know that cold asshole guy from the previous post? I was just standing there with Momo and him waiting for my bus, and he put his arm around me. KIMOOOOIIIII (GROSS). Seriously I have hardly talked to him at all, what the fuck made him think that would be okay? I haven’t exactly been mean to him, though. WELL that doesn’t mean I want him to fucking touch me. I barely want people I’m indifferent to to touch me, let alone people I really don’t like.

ANYWAYS. FUCK LEAVING. THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY. If I say it too much I really feel like crying.

Well actually I’m laughing right now because in the drama I’m half-watching with my host family right now this kid is looking at porn and touching himself LOL and my family is just like all lulz. ‘so that’s where he’s going to do it? he looks nervous’ Yeah, they’re awesome, I fucking love them.

Puri and NOERU!

Some random puri (for you Jenna! btw I can’t believe I kept on forgetting to say it, but your letters are funny as fuck. I laugh to myself every time I read them and I feel a bit less worse about the whole leaving thing ) and pictures of Noel and I today :3.

That’s momo, I go walk home with her every day, she’s so nice!! She’s hosting an American for a week right now, and he’s really cold and sort of an asshole, I feel bad. She deserves better.

Alright I’m too lazy to write shit today.

I love my host family so much. Just thought I’d throw that out there. I can even discuss hot guys with my host dad LOL that’s how comfortable it’s gotten. I even rented a homoerotic film today and it wasn’t awkward haha. ANYWAYS yeah Noel’s sleepin over again, I watched Mai-Hime with her today XD (I’ve seen it before, but she loves it sooo much so we watched it together. It’s been so long since i’ve watched anime!) OKAY BYEBYE

It’s FRIIIIIIIDAY

I forgot to mention the Portuguese exchange student here, Mariana. She’s really… feisty HAHA there’s no other way to put it. She’s actually a lot like Noel, so if I were to generalize, I love europeans!! LOL. They both cuss flawlessly too, so now I have people to actually say ‘fuck’ to, it’s been so long T~T haha.

We took an art class together, I love the art teacher. He doesn’t treat me like everyone else does (as an American); he didn’t have insanely low expectations of me like every other person (hence the ‘AHH JOUZU JOUZU HONTOUNI SHABERU NE’ routine every time a person hears me speak) and was just chill about speaking Japanese with me. Like, oh, you can do Japanese. Alright, so what do you want to do today? I asked him if he’d been outside of Japan before and he said Germany, France, and The Netherlands. After I was like OMGOMG FRANCE I LOVE FRENCH AHH lol, I asked how was The Netherlands… and he just coughed violently LOL. me: ‘Ah, tanoshikatta?’ sensei: ‘*mischievious smile* tanoshikatta :3′. So yes I love art class.

Noel is sleeping over today!! Tomorrow I go to Ichiritsu and Nagano’s festivals OMG IKEMEN PARADISE (those schools are full of really smart good looking men LOLOOOOOOOOOOOL xD) My blog has been suddenly all about finding ikemen lately, it’s horrible haha.

little things

I couldn’t find my glasses this morning and I couldn’t be late, so I had to spend my day semi-blind. I do this a lot in America, too (except it’s usually that I didn’t even remember my glasses at all), so it wasn’t anything new.
However, in America, everyone would just note ‘hey, where are you glasses?’ or ‘you look different…’ It really just reasserted my belief that I look like shit without them. Someone once told me that I look better with my glasses on because there’s too much empty space on my face LOL (I’ve been addicted to my glasses ever since; they had a point)
But today, I got showered with so much リズ美人！ (YOU’RE A BEAUTY) that I want to go out and buy contacts LOL. Seriously, Japan is very flattery, but the intensity of everyone’s YOU’RE SO CUTE/PRETTY/SEXY(lol what?) assaults made it feel very sincere. The 2nd cutest guy my class even randomly walked up and said 今日リズ色っぽい。。。！(today Liz is sexy/hot/attractive/very pretty (it’s a dangerously broad term lol))　LMFAO I would be more uncomfortable but he’s a really funny nice person so I know he’s not being insincere or disgusting. Needless to say I am somewhat over my naked-face-hate.

I spend time shopping around every day after school and I’m so surprised that it’s usually fruitless! I find a lot of things I like but nothing I love. So I end up saying ‘ehh… I could live without it’ to everything x_x;;;. Just felt like mentioning it.

Exactly 2 weeks lefffffttttttt T~T. Suddenly time is moving way too fast. It’s 2 weeks but I feel kind of strained each day, with the thought of going home constantly silently stretching at my insides and making me queasy. I’m excited to see my family and friends and everything, but I’m afraid of ending this time off. I don’t know if I’m ready to return to normal life yet. I feel like I haven’t learned enough yet and I definitely feel that I have not regained the resolve and determination to last another school year. I don’t want to come home and feel as if I was pulled away from something half-way. I need more time to dwell here and really let a renewal soak in so I can survive another year doing shit and pretending it matters.

4 days I will never forget.

I don’t know where to start. I want to start from the end because that’s what’s freshest in my mind, but that wouldn’t give a good idea of how all these things came together to create levels of happiness that I don’t have the mental capacity to truly appreciate. Even after reading all this, you could be disappointed: because it’s not anything totally spectacular at all… but you need to understand who I am and how dull my life is due to my own self-torture and how frighteningly weak I am. So these apparently insignificant events have more meaning to me than I can absorb right now, and I would like to remember them too so here we go. /very dramatic sorry haha

Thursday 7/3

More festival preparation, which is fun because I love everyone in my class so even working is enjoyable. We got class t-shirts, too. Mine was a gift so I didn’t have to pay ;_; so nice.

That morning crush-boy asked me if I had a boyfriend, and even though it was just an out-of-curiosity question, I was happy he gave a damn at all.

That evening (~4-7) there was a pre-festival pep-rally thing (there’s a Japanese word for it; I forgot it XD) that was hella awesome haha. Basically all the upperclassmen sell food for their part in the festival, so they all had a turn to dance on stage and advertise their restaurant. Hanadan references, otaku references, girls in gakuran, boys in seifuku, basically crossdressing galore!, basketball team boys wearing white shirts+ties (<3) dancing to Beat It, and an all-teacher band that was really good.

After that we went back to the classroom to get our stuff and go home, and the view from the window was even more gorgeous because it was night. School at night was actually really pretty ;_;.

I walked to the station that night with Momoka, Ai-gon, and Yuka. It was so fun, Ai-gon and Yuka are actually otaku haha! I didn’t know; they randomly starting singing Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu theme song and I was like OSHIT! So I really enjoyed their company. They think I’m clever because I make jokes even though they are totally crappy and random, yay.

I walk through zenko-ji twice every day because of school, so I’m pretty bored of it, but seeing it at night made it special all over again :3…

It was about 8:30 when I made it to Nagano station, and the bus was like 9:00 so I poked around cosmetics and convenience stores (anything that was still open XD) and wandered. Again, everything is so pretty at night, the weather was nice, and I was feeling really good.

I got home at 9:57 and Yamapi’s new drama (Code Blue, in which he plays a really skilled, calm and collected good-looking helicopter-doctor. LOL) was debuting at 10:00. Having a great day then coming home to a shirtless Dr. Yamapi and a delicious dinner was fucking kickass. The drama itself totally sucks (seriously, a Japanese person probably went to America and watched Grey’s Anatomy and tried to bring it to Japan. Except it’s totally obvious — I swear, the characters and music are so similar — and they did a real shitty job of it). But I was just happy to watch Yamapi’s new show live in Japan, to the envy of American Yamapi fans everywhere XD.

Then I went to bed and totally passed out.

Friday 7/4

More pre-festival entertainment. This 50-year-old woman that looked 35-years-old gave a long speech about how ecological fashion is good or some shit (our festival theme is ‘Eco’) and I fell asleep >_>. But then like the Taiko (drum) club or something had a preformance and it was SO COOOOOL. These girls did this traditional dance and it’s so hard to describe but I think if you look up the song ‘Souran Bushi’ you can get an idea.

Then it was sports festival (undoukai?) time. My class lost everything LOL. (1-6 is smart, not atheletic. XD), I got scratched up from tug-of-war, I got so much sand in my eyes and lungs because the field has no grass, and it was a burning hot afternoon with little cloud cover. But because every class has a unanimous sense of togetherness, it was great. I loved it (I am getting really repetitive, but I really do just love everything that happened).

During undoukai me and Candice rode the FORBIDDEN ELEVATOR, LMAO. We’re so lame, we were freaking out in the elevator and started panicking because you’re just not supposed to use it unless you have a really legit reason to. We were on the first floor and I had to get Minami’s (my host sister’s) cell phone from my class on the 5th floor…and we just felt like it. It’s pathetic to say but… it was an adventure XD.

I just found out this girl I’ve been eating lunch with is a total otaku (SHOCK!) haha and she’s sooo cute. I also found out Misuzu, Ami, and Abu are ジョニーオタ (Johnny’s Entertainment nerds) so I had people to discuss sexy shirtless Dr. Yamapi with. I love my classmates even more lol.

After Undoukai, it was still really hot, so crush-boy was intensely fanning himself with his shirt. FUCK YEAH. DOWN WITH AIR-CONDITIONING, LOL. Seriously, in that moment I had absolutely nothing against burning hot Japanese summers and the fact that my school has no air conditioning. I see what they did there ;D.

When I got home I got a nice call from my other home. It was pretty surreal because I had just gotten back from school and was about to take a shower after dinner here, but my family was packing for vacation in the morning over there . Everyone’s going to Canada without me this year, but I’m fine with that and I hope they’re having fun .

The next day was going to be the real festival, and everyone in sadouhan (tea ceremony club) was going to wear yukata and I was invited to. I got to try on the yukata my host family owns and choose one. It’s lame, but I felt really excited to wear one during the day and walk around in it.

Then I went to bed and passed out.

EVIDENCE!!! XD

Crush-boy is in this picture. (so don’t kill me Lia! xD) It’s profile-only, and it’s kind of hard to tell just how attractive he is. It only sort of shows off his forearms, which are really nice. You know how some guy’s arms have veins that really stick out if they work out a lot? Yeah. He has veiny buff forearms while the rest of him is normal. It’s a really nice combination lmao. Did I mention that he’s nice to everyone, confident, is great at English, and is really smart? DEFINITION OF MORE THAN A PRETTY FACE!!

Saturday 7/5

My homeroom teacher helped me put on my yukata for the second time, and it was embarassing because this time I was wearing nothing but my underwear and a thin tanktop while she adjusted it >>;;;; (last time I kept my skirt on because I was only wearing the yukata for like a minute). Oh well, she’s so damn nice I know she wasn’t judging my chubby legs. Even if she was, she can, cuz I <3s her.

Every girl in my class I would run into that day would tell me how cute I looked in it, it was so nice XD. I also ran into my class’s second cutest boy and he said ‘あ、似合う’ (that really suits you). I would be happier, but if there’s anything I’ve learned about Japanese culture here, it’s that they’re a country of flatterers. I get complimented so many times all day about anything I do. Everyone does it for eachother. Anything you’re doing, if you’re not fucking it up 100%, you will definitely receive an ‘umai!’ (that’s really good!) or something similar. I actually get uncomfortable because there’s nothing particularly good about what I’m doing usually but I get showered with compliments anyway.

The festival is really impressive. Everyone seriously built everything out of trash. Everything is made of card-board and old cloth and cheap, used, materials, and it’s awesome how they managed to spend like no money.

Anyways, I was hanging out with Candice and eating ice cream, then James and Christine (other YFU students near-by) came to visit. We went to the horror house, which was ACTUALLY TOTALLY FREAKY. I mean, seriously, it’s a horror house made of trash in a classroom made in less than a week. I didn’t expect shit. So I went with Candice and we ended up screaming, clinging to eachother, and running XD.

I can’t really remember much else in particular, but that night, after talent performances (with some reallllly provocative dancing… I was suprised the school allowed it lol) I went karaoke with Candice and her classmates at about 8 or 9. Afterwards we took purikura, and we were a group of 7 people so that was interesting LOL. Then I stole Candice from her friends for a bit so we could have our own puri XD. Got home extremely late again.

Getting home was awesome because that day’s dinner was SOBA! FUCK, I LOVE SOBA SO MUCH!!! I was tired as shit but I sat there and I ate that soba like no tomorrow haha.

^ I love this picture.

lmfao, there was a group of these kind of guys… the most interesting looking one actually didn’t get in the picture …

This was the funnest purikura I’ve taken, because I’m the most comfortable with Candice. I wish I could take some more with her, but that’s impossible… more on that later…

Sunday 7/6

It’s very hard to describe this day in a way that does it justice…

I’ll start with suzukoukan. It’s a festival tradition of Nagano Nishi in which everyone in the school is given a tiny bell. During the closing ceremony of the festival at night, kyudohan (archery club) shoots flaming arrows into a wooden-structure-thing and starts a bonfire. After that, you are given time to exchange the bell with the person you like. You kind of become an official ‘couple’ if it’s exchanged, or you can just give it to a person if you like them a bit.

Okay anyways, in the morning I was really bored and actually kinda pissed off. I suddenly felt really left out because all of my classmates were doing their own thing and I just didn’t have anyone to go with. No one did anything in particular, it was like every other morning. We all say good morning to eachother and are all very cheerful. I had some good conversations about suzukoukan and found out who wanted to do it and who didn’t. There was a boys in seifuku dance in the morning that made me really happy LOL. But otherwise, I was bored, and a bit lonely.

Then suddenly Candice showed up and told me she’d been looking for me, and I wasn’t mad anymore. We bought yakitori, juice, ice cream, and sat down and talked. Since this was her last day in Japan we ate a lot since it would be her last time in a long while (because she’s coming back to Japan someday!! OK?? T~T!). I love being with her, she’s so sweet. We did a lot of shit but I don’t even really remember anything in particular.

Afterwards we hung out with her friend Sayaka, who is so nice, confident, and friendly. She asked me if I wanted to give my bell to anyone and I was like ‘uhhhhhh I kinda do… I mean I want the experience you know?’ then she tried to force it out of me who I wanted to give it to and I just said someone in my class — and she knew just from that LOL. ‘IS IT _____?! I THOUGHT HE WAS COOL TOO!!‘ (so he’s famous, huh…. as expected.. XD)

I told her it was too embarrassing anyway and I didn’t really like him, I just thought he was hot. She kept encouraging me to do it anyway, although I kept telling her I’m pretty sure I’d just freak out and not do it because I just don’t have the personality to do this kind of thing. Sayaka had already given it to the guy she liked the day before because she couldn’t help herself LOL (THAT’S HOW CONFIDENT AND PEPPY SHE IS, IT’S SCARY). Anyways, the conclusion was that I better do it because it’s something you can only experience here and that a guy will accept it no matter what and be really flattered. She managed to convince me that it would be fun lmao (although seriously, if you know me… I hate this kind of thing)

Anyways, so once it was suzukoukan time, I had regained my fear and was like no nono no noononono I can’t I can’t. So she literally dragged me around while Candice was like WHERE IS HE?? and there was this crazy 5 minutes where I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest and I couldn’t think straight and I hated them for doing this to me LOL. I honestly saw him 3 minutes before either of them did but didn’t say anything haha.

I haven’t told anyone how I truly felt about them in 6 years. I haven’t been very straightforward with my emotions ever in my life, really. I have always just liked people and let it go because I was a pansy and I couldn’t handle putting myself out there to that extreme. I’ve always been really selfish in this way… just because I couldn’t handle the truth, I’ve never been honest either. I think Lia or Jenna, you guys understand how long I can go without even being the slightest bit honest about how I feel about a person. Years and years. I can hide the way I feel to the point people think I don’t even care about them, just so I don’t have to worry about whether or not they give a damn about me. I’ve perfected my completely apathetic facade. I am 100% selfishly secretive with my emotions and have been that way since I had the ability to put myself out there.

Anyways, that’s why it’s such a big deal to me that I actually walked up to this guy I have a crush on and told him to take it (he picked it up with his strong arms…LOL sorry I couldn’t help myself). It’s really fucking cheezy and stupid when I type it out like this, sorry. Try to understand that I have minor panic attacks whenever I think that any guy even suspects that I like them. Really I think only Jenna and Lia really get how fucking crazy this is of me, someone who is deathly afraid of anyone reading her thoughts, someone who can’t even hint that she enjoys someone’s presence let alone this kind of thing. It lasted about 1 minute, in which Sayaka got his attention and I was still like NO NO NO!! (LOL) but then he turned around so I kind of had to. I just awkwardly stuck my hand out, and I really can’t remember clearly what happened because SERIOUSLY I NEVER, EVER EVER WOULD EVER DO THIS EVER and my brain was like ‘what the fuck are you doing’. He looked really shocked and actually said ‘HONTOU?! (REALLY?!)’ [I can tell why he was shocked, I've barely showed any interest in him at all. Once again, due to my fucked up defense system] he started reaching for his bell and I stopped him and told him ‘ah ageru dake… (I’m just giving it)’ because I really didn’t want him to force himself, he hardly knows me. Then Sayaka was like PICTURE PICTURE!! LOL now THAAAAT was awkward, did I mention he was with his friend? Oh well. I’m not showing the picture because it’s fucking embarassing and I look really gross. Did i mention I was sweaty and disheveled when I admitted to having emotions towards this person? Who am I and what have I become?

Anyways, we both said thanks to eachother and that was that.

It’s stupid but I was happier than I could even really feel.

Then suzukoukan time ended, it got dark, and the fireworks started (I KNOW, this sounds like a horrible straight-to-VHS movie XD). At the same time, it started raining and I love rain. I KNOW, WHAT? LOL. Candice and her friend started crying because it was her last day. There was a gathering of Candice’s friends saying bye after the fireworks and rain. I’ve only known Candice for 2 weeks and I cried. I really don’t think I cry very much ever, I’m really not the type; I only cry when I’m stressed about finals and when I get hit in the face. XD That’s how nice she is. And that’s how much I wasn’t like myself that day. I put out my emotions more than I ever have, really…

After that, we went purikura again, and I had to say bye to Candice once and for all. I’m really going to miss her, but it’s okay because we’re going skydiving someday . Then I went with Minami’s friends to eat miso ramen at about 11:00 in one of those stereotypical bar-like Japanese ramen restaurants. I got home really late, needless to say. I didn’t shower or anything and just passed out.

Today was clean-up day but I slept in and didn’t go (I feel kind of bad. I’m also afraid crush-boy is going to think I was just too embarrassed to show up LOL).

I don’t think I did a very good job of describing this weekend, but I hope it kind of made sense.

So now I just ate ice cream, and I took a picture of the box because I eat this stuff all the time here xD

This has been the best weekend of my life.

And it’s not even over yet. I never want to leave Japan.

I will be more detailed later!

Oh but I can’t help myself haha.
One of many many things that contributed to these wonderful past few days:
So I was sitting with this really hot guy in my class I have a minor crush on (I KNOW I’M ONLY HERE FOR ANOTHER 2.5 WEEKS, SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP T_T) and Momoka, preparing for the festival.

Then this upperclassman that Momoka thinks is fine as hell walks by and she grabs me and is like ‘MITE MITE!! SENPAI DA!! ahhh cho kakkoiii~~ (look look it’s senpai he’s so hot)’ (all the girls in my class are in love with him…it’s crazy. When he’s around our class, every girl in my class crowds by the door and giggle and go ‘AHHH yabai yabai! SENPAI KAKKOIII!! CHO KAKOII!!!! AHHHH!!! (SO HOT!!! TOO HOTT!!!)’ and jump up and down and hug eachother LMFAO…I join because it’s fun XD) anyways, I can see why they think he’s so great, but it’s overhyped and he’s not even my type (he looks like a tall Japanese Ricky Ullman that gets his eyebrows done) so I said ‘Ehhh. Kakkowarui (he’s not cool)’.

Then it was really quiet because we were sitting with all the boys in my class (uhh conversational gap, lol).

THEN A GLORIOUS BREAKING OF THE SILENCE!!
Crush-boy caught me off-guard with ‘Kareshi iru? (Do you have a boyfriend)’. AHHHHHHHH!!!! AHHHH ><!!!! SO I WAS LIKE ‘yes….YOU!!!! <3′ HAHAA–not really… I just said ‘Inai. (nope.)’ and in English I said that I’ve never had a boyfriend, but I’m not sure if he understood me… BTW when he speaks Japanese it’s normal (and really hot… japanese/french-speaking men ftw), but…omg…when he speaks English he has a minor lisp LMFAO!!–IT’S SOOO CUTE <3 (I’m fucking weird, I know) Anyways, then he kinda just nodded and broke eye contact (THOSE BEAUTIFUL EYES. LOL) Ahhh and it’s really obvious how hard he tries to be cool, btw, I think it’s fucking adorable and I just want to squeeze the stuffing out of him XD.

AHHH and later his friends showed up and sat down. He tried to introduce me to one of them and omg this guy I don’t know what he was thinking, but he was SO SHY. He was the shyest I’d ever seen a boy be to me O_O. I didn’t even get to see his face his head was lowered so much. Seriously, I was just like oh hi! and crush-boy said ‘hey practice your english with her’ and shy-guy (lol) giggled and shook his head sheepishly and stared at the ground. I was like ‘I’m not mean! You can speak Japanese, too, that’s fine (in Japanese)’ and he just did his odd silent sheepy thing. We gave him a ton of time to reply, too. Seriously J-men are so damn shy. I smile at people when I walk by them, cuz it’s what I do, lulz, one guy got so sheepish and bowed at me LOL. And then there are they really homosexual-looking (by american standards) guys that dress totally 140% faggot but are considered manly. You know, really tanned guys with dyed styled hair and shaped eybrows wearing v-cut tops and tight jeans that walk around like they own the place.

That’s not even related, is it? AHH why am I going on a tangent about J-men I HATE MYSELF SORRY!

Wow…it was supposed to be a preview. That easily could have been a one-sentence story and I really dragged it out and it’s not even that interesting, haha XD. It’s just me being overly disgustingly girly. This is a horrible post, it sucks, I know, sorry T_T. Oh but once again, miscalculation, only 2 guys in my class are passable XD.

Well this is only a fraction of my story of the best days ever.

SEISHUN DA!! I feel my youth!! Hahaa

Tldr? Hottest guy in my class straightup asked me if I had a boyfriend. I want to squeeze the stuffing out of him for being simultaneously hot and adorable.

Oh and Max, update. Officially everyone I show your picture to thinks you’re ikemen. XD

And this week’s ikemen contest was ‘best sleeping face’. The moar you know.

moar

I went karaoke with Candice after school! I’m the worst singer in the world (seriously) but it was still really fun. I mean, they had a complimentary soft serve ice cream stand with MACCHA FLAVOR AHH I had three bowlfuls LOL (and we only rented the room for an hour so I was really shoveling it down…XD). Yeah green tea ice cream is one of my favorite foods. Anyways, that’s not the point. My school is in the inner city while my house is in the countryside. Despite the daily 1-hour long bus commute, I really like how I get to live both worlds each day. And my bus stop is in the ‘times square’ of Nagano, and I can shop around and hang out before I go home (karaoke!) so I usually take the 6:00 bus and get home at 7:00 right for dinner. :3
I’m just happy to be out of surburbia where you need a car to get anywhere- and anywhere is extremely boring. I haven’t done like any shopping since that day with my host mom, though. I plan to go on a shopping spree before I leave .

haha I look so creepy

So at school we’ve been preparing for the bunkasai (school festival) and my group’s project is a presentation stand concerning the trash all over Mt. Fuji. So we spent hours making ‘Fuji-san’ which ended up being the piece of shit you see in the pictures LMFAO. I swear they made it so complicated haha, it could have been 1000x easier and looked 1000x better ahaha. Oh well, we definitely bonded. I love these girls. XD

I’ve learned so many dirty words >_>;;; I teach them a ton of slang and ecchi English too haha. Now every once in a while, suddenly, Ai or Sayaka will just shout ‘TITSU!!’ at me… LOL

I look like shit in all of these pictures, I’ve gotten so lazy. I need to style my hair and wear lotsa make up for school from now on please excuse my sweaty ugliness lol

rofl Maki is so friggin cute I’d hate her for it but she has a great personality too ;_;

I also listened to my ipod for the first time since the flight here the other day. IDK why it never occurred to me that I had one and should use it on the hour-long busride haha. It’s probably because the first 3 times I rode the bus alone I couldn’t relax and kept thinking I was definitely on the wrong bus LOL god that was HORRIBLE. It was like me taking the train back from Akihabara all over again x_x;;

OMG JAKE IF YOU’RE READING THIS, if you weren’t totally into white boys, I’d say COME TO JAPAN ASAP. Asian girls love you, EVERYBODY HERE THINKS YOU’RE FINE AS FUCK LOLOL. EVEN MY HOST MOM THINKS YOU’RE HOT. I have a picture of us together and we’re standing pretty close, so everyone’s like ‘KARESHI?!! AHHH KAKKOII’ (Is this your boyfriend!! HE’S SO HOT!!). I laugh every time and have to explain that you like boys; Maki replied with ‘EEEEEEEHHHHHH?! SHOK-KU! (shock!)’ then proceeded to make a sad face and whine about it lmfao. My host mom was ilke ‘mottainai… (how wasteful)’; in a totally nonhomophobic way. She just wants you to spread your seed and produce equally beautiful children HAHA. Okay that’s my little asian-girls-love-jake story.

Oh and Max I show the picture of you with Billy at China Gate and they think you’re an ikemen . Host mom thinks you’re fairly kakkoii too XD.

Anyways hope you enjoyed =D.

I’ve hit the half-way mark of my stay… ;_;…

Some new pictures; daily life… :) (updated~)

I totally forgot to mention how Japanese TV is a big part of my life here haha! I get to watch Gokusen, Rookies, Zettai Kareshi, and a ton of dramas live for once (instead of waiting for torrents), and all of those comedy and variety shows every night. (My family watches TV during dinner, fuck yeah! XD) What’s also great is that hot guys like Matsumoto Jun get invited to variety shows a lot and generally all the idols I liked in America I can finally watch on an actual TV. And the comedy shows are so messed up (look up Kanoue Ikou)… I’m really going to miss TV here…

Sunday :: June 29 –

I watched TV and slept all day today .

From 11 AM to 1 PM I watched the 90 minute Gokusen special and ate this really healthy greaseless Japanese pizza

I slept from 1 PM to 6 PM, LOL I always do that on Sundays, no matter where I am…
After dinner I watched the movie ‘Koizora‘ with Japanese subtitles (I watch English movies with English subtitles, too… hearing issues haha); It was a very simple movie but I was still happy that I was able understood 99% of it. It was pretty good. It was funny because everyone cried except for me… I never cry watching movies. I haven’t cried watching a movie since I was a kid. I teared up during Click but that’s it.

Tomorrow is school again! I need to get a picture of myself in my school clothes on here…

Tuesday I get to visit the French classes, that’ll be really interesting, I can’t wait.

OK good night. I noticed that I haven’t even asked anyone how their summer was going in the midst of my rushed shitty blogging D:… sorry, please tell me! Anyone, go ahead! Although Max you already took the liberty to describe your life haha. And Nico, damn woman, you fierce LOL. Seriously I was like HOW DOES SHE STILL MANAGE TO COMMENT ME O_O! I think it could be the apocalypse and you would still msg me on facebook like ‘ASK SPOTTING!!’ xD

P.S. I love Japanese TV, seriously… one variety show is just ‘ikemen contests’ (contests for hot guys) and this week’s was ‘ikemen kushami’ (sneezes). So it was just a bunch of hot guys competing for the best sneeze. XD some were really ugly, and really bad embarassing sneezes.. anyways I still really liked it haha

That reminds me, I really need to take pictures of the guys in my class. I seriously miscalculated on my last post, 4/6 of them are really good looking >_> And the not so attractive 2/6 are still passable…

CLASS 1-6 FTW

XD